Our big 20th issue (that's right, there was an issue 0), is our hazing issue.
Why is that? Well, things were getting a little mundane here at the offices,
so we decided to bring in some new blood to help liven it up. We just didn't
taken anyone off the street though; first they had to survive a Fear
Factor-style elimination process in order to see who was best fit to write for
The first step in the process is called the "Corea Test." All
the prospective fakejazz writers were locked in a plain white
room with only a chair and their thoughts. Then, music was pumped into
the room; however it wasn't just any music, but rather the classic jazz
fusion album Return to Forever Romantic Warrior. After fifteen hours
of continuous Return to Forever, more than half the 30 prospective writers
had given up. The second step in the process, Fear Factor fans will
know, is always the "gross out" stage. We weren't too creative in this stage;
we just had the candidates lie in a coffin one-by-one and then slowly
pour the grossest thing we could think of all on top of them: Jimmy Eat
World promo CDs. They were forced to stay in the coffin for four full
minutes as the Jimmy Eat World promos fully surrounded them, weighing down
on their bodies and invading every personal space. Five of the candidates
wouldn't even attempt it, not wanted to even get close to the Jimmy Eat
World promos. The third and final stage left us with our four new writers.
A tour van was suspended by a crane, hanging vicariously with its rear end
skyward. The tour van was filled with over 300 promo CDs from various bands.
The contestants started in the drivers seat, had to climb upward to the
back of the van and find the one outstanding promo (Chicago Underground Quartet's
self-titled album was used), and then climb back downward to the driver's
window, and outside of the car. Once the contestants reached the back
bumper of the van, the clock was stopped. With nine contestants left,
the four fastest finishers have now joined our ranks.
Check out the new blood!
Thanks, in part, to our four new writers, our 20th issue is pretty big,
forty or so reviews and two new interviews. New writer Anthony Gerace
had a lengthy phone conversation with Tim Harrington of post-punk's great
white hope Les Savy Fav. Harrington goes in depth about all aspects
of the band, from the themes and imagery of the songs and artwork
to weird ideas that never really worked out, from how they approach
live shows to weird things that happened on tours... a great look into this
band. Old farmhand Daron Gardner also did a new interview, this one with
post-rock leaders of the new school Tarentel. Now pruned to a three piece,
Tarentel still continue to branch out to try new things, inviting guest
musicians to bring in new instruments and attempting new forms. The
interview provides a good snapshot of where the band is now and where they
hope to go.
Also in this issue, we have a contest for Need New Body's new
CD. Well, no, actually, the contest is for a freshly prepared sandwich,
courtesy of record label Cenotaph
Audio, but both winners will also receive a copy of the CD.
All you have to do to win is describe your favorite sandwich. How
hard is that?
If you have any questions about the site, please send us an email or check out our super fancy message board. Look for our next issue on September 14th. Thanks a whole lot.